Why Smart Girls Get Pissed When Guys Surpass Them Suddenly

There's this part in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince where Harry is suddenly the best at Potions and Hermione gets pissed at him rather than being happy that he's doing well. The same thing happens in How To Train Your Dragon when Hiccup is suddenly way better than Astrid in class and she also gets super annoyed.

When I read that part in Harry Potter for the first time, I completely agreed with how Hermione was thinking. I used to be the one that got the highest in my own class, so if someone was suddenly getting better grades, it would piss me off too. But why? Well, it's simple. We don't understand WHY. Why is it that this person is suddenly the best? What's their trick? Because there must be a trick. Hermione and Astrid knows what it takes to be the best and have consistently acted upon their abilities, thereby making them the best. When someone else gets ahead, they want to know how. And when that person says they're doing exactly what they used to do, the logic doesn't sit right and nothing makes sense. The inability to make sense of it all is what pisses them off. IF they had seen Harry or Hiccup improve with hard work and practice, they would be happy for the boys. But that wasn't the case.

In Harry's case, he had a book that told him better instructions for potions. In Hiccup's case, he studied a dragon's behaviour to better understand how they reacted to things. Once Hermione and Astrid figure out how the heck these boys had suddenly surpassed them, they were calmer. It wasn't that Harry had suddenly become smarter than Hermione (I mean let's face it, that's impossible) or that Hiccup was suddenly stronger than Astrid (like yeah right, totally) it was that they were doing things from a different angle. Now that the world made sense again, they could stop getting frustrated and move on with their lives.

I must say though, I think Harry's example was more like he was cheating... At least Hiccup studied the dragon and figured things out for himself. Harry just copied the Prince's notes...

Empty Nostalgia

Nostalgia threatens to tear my bones

To rip through muscle and flesh

My gore, to eat with fevered relish

And gnaw itself a home

Is it my heart that has a cavity

Have my teeth seeped through my tongue

I taste my sweet and acrid lungs

Do I breath-in gaps, -out sanity?

I try to fake a pleasant smile

And cough up my last meal

Stomach churning, my body feels

Like twisting, gaseous vile

I try to hide my hollow sickness

But it clings so visibly, wretch

I try to uproot it, powerful, wrench!

But tear a hole in my existence

Looking around, I see myself

Or a silhouette of a previous me

A halo, red, eclipsed body

And dust in abundance is my health

Scattered mind, scattered thoughts

A jigsaw about to break

Where is my soul? Oh soul forsake!

But my whispered voice is caught

I, a ghost, leave my place in the world

A vacuum waiting for sustenance

I, a shadow, with now no substance

Run away, fingers curled

I, now out, look fretful around

Does anyone actually notice?

I, now free, am something amiss

But nobody makes a sound?

I, in chains, brought upon by my mind

Cannot fathom my next action

I, now lost, with no reaction

Know not what I have to find

I, now frozen, but free from my space

Move aimlessly about

I, now, with purpose without

Can no longer see my face

I, now fearful, go back to my shape

Can I sew myself back in?

I, now worried, look deep within

Could I stick me back with tape?

A breath I take, a breath I sigh

And walk into that black door

"Please let me fit into my before,"

Tears forming in my eyes

I fill up that empty

And weep a little more

Like a dream, but body sore

I cheer and greet my memories 

I still feel the hollow
creeping on my back

I still feel the hole
alone and bulbous inside me

I still feel the air
congealing within me

I still feel the heart
beating an attack

Shivers still silence
 my stray thoughts in bed

A fever persists on my brow

Will I die yesterday, have I died now?

Confusion still meanders
through my head

I curl up and lie silent, awake

Waiting for pain to dissipate

Discomfort burns at a small dull rate

Throbbing while I abate

Mars, the Red Sea, HIV, Cancer, and Imagination and the Human Mind

So, what's happened? Living organisms have been found on Mars? So what? That's already been known! People already knew that! Water had already been found on Mars, too! The government of the world has been hiding these secrets. The world is behind on intelligence by about 3.4 years. That's been calculated.

Australia's also gotten a red sea. So is that how it happened? Was Moses' "blood" ocean, in fact, algae turning the water red? Food for thought, salty water for thought.

HIV is being harnessed and reprogrammed to kill cancer cells instead of the cells that it usually wants to kill. Apparently it worked on a girl's leukemia. That's actually pretty smart ey. That's actually really smart. Usually HIV targets cells that are responsible for our immune system, and so a person's immune system is a wreck so every little disease that would've been cured in a jiffy just compounds in disastrous significance, leading to AIDS. Instead, the HIV is eating cancer cells. That's awesome. So awesome. Using an enemy to destroy an enemy. Humanity is so manipulative.

Which leads me to my final hypothesis: Everything that humanity imagines has a similarity, a likeness, within the human body. Within the mechanisms and functions of the human body or mind. Ex: cancer cells to zombies. Nodes of Ranvier to telephone poles. Get my drift? If we can't make anything from nothing, then where does imagination come from? Not everything that we imagine comes from nature and innovations. So what if our mind subconsciously knows how the entire body works? What if that's where we all got our imagination from? What if that's how we got computers and technology? From the subconscious knowledge within our minds...

How to be Funny Without Being a Douche

1. When ridiculing/bashing, don't just ridicule or bash. That's just being mean. You have to imply how it's funny, and then have some empathy. Try to get something clever out of it. Actually, ridiculing yourself makes people like you more, and the more they like you the more they find you funny. But don't ridicule yourself to the point that it just seems like you have low esteem, because no one likes a whiner.

2. When telling an anecdote, don't go on and on detailing small things that don't matter. Say the bare minimum without taking away from the joke, and be succinct with your words. No backtracking, no stumbling your words, no tangent or ramble. Just say the joke and make your words glide smoothly.

3. If you're pretending to be annoyed and angry, don't actually be annoyed or angry. Break out of the act at points, allow some breathing space.

4. Ignore the first three points, because they're all pretty stupid anyway. If you see someone being absolutely stupid, you can say that: "hah! I saw this stupid lady cross the road but she left her kid on the other side and he was crying and in order to get back to the other side she had to, like, there was this traffic light thing you see? And first she had to...."

Yeah by then no one is listening to you anymore. 

How to Find Things to Do

It is common knowledge that people who don't have anything they need to do can, at times, become lethargic and braindea- I mean, can become a little lazy and amount to not knowing what else they can possibly do with all this spare time. Perhaps you're on holidays from schooling and are rich enough to not work (or sick enough, or too lazy, or incapable of getting a job no matter how hard you try). Perhaps you have just finished all the episodes of Doctor Who or Supernatural or Game of Thrones and have already looked through all of Tumblr for every meme possible and had previously finished every other series out there that you are interested (including American, UK, and Asian dramas/cartoon/animes, as well as a few talent/singing shows). What to do?

It is another universally accepted truth that when you really do have things you absolutely need to do - say for example, do your taxes or study for four upcoming final exams that may be worth half your final assessment - suddenly, there is a plethora of things you can do! Tidy your room, do all the washing for a week, ahhh nature is beautiful is it not? Oh what about this YouTube channel - over 1000 videos of VlogBrothers? Sure! I can do that at this very moment! Friends want to take a nice stroll down to the lake? Yes! NOW is the BEST time for that!

What you need to do, is to write down everything you want to do when you feel like procrastinating, and refer back to it when you have nothing to do. That way you are procrastinating a little bit, but you haven't completely moved on to a new activity. And when you are done, you have a list of things to do!

If that doesn't work, then here's the deal: you have nothing to do because you don't feel like doing the things you can do? Dare: I dare you to learn how to do a cartwheel. If you already know how to do this, then I dare you to draw the first thing that comes to mind when you see this picture, and then read a little about infrasound:

When one is busy, one is not doing nothing. When one is not doing nothing, one cannot be without something. When one is without something however, one must try to attain something in order to not do nothing and therefore be busy. Because when one is busy, one is on track. When one is on track, one can attack, like the wonderful beans of a laughing Jack.